Adventures of a First Time Covid College Student

I guess I’ll go to College. My mental health is improving after all. Oh, wait. Now there’s a pandemic.

I have been trying to write this post for about two weeks now and I have been very unsuccessful. I am a freshman in college and I am trying to share my experience and the experiences of others at college during Covid. My goal is to first share my own experience and then a series of interviews that I am doing with other students about what college life has been like for them. I have unfortunately hit a roadblock.

I want to share about my struggles with depression and lack of motivation; and how quarantine and the current Covid situation aggravate both of these struggles. What is the problem then? In order for me to share this information I actually have to write. As you may have picked up on already, I am depressed and I have a severe motivation problem. In order for me to write about my depression experience it is necessary for me to first, have a depression experience, and secondly, ACTUALLY WRITE IT. So far it’s an impossible circle.

Currently, I am writing stream of consciousness, because the other tactics I have tried have not worked. Bear with me through this process if anything I have said rings a bell. I want to share the stories of other students because I have often felt alone during this semester, and I want others to feel understood.

Some quick background about me. I am 19, I am studying in DC, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and social anxiety 3 years ago. I struggled a good deal in high school, so much so that after graduating I took a gap year, and debated daily if I should attend college. I often feared that I would not survive.

I made the decision to attend college on the day of the deadline to register. It was mid pandemic at that point, but nobody had anticipated how long the effects of the virus continue.

Here I am, 2 months and a bit into my first semester of college. I have been in strict two-week quarantine twice, and partial two-week quarantine once. I found it very difficult and many days I did not get out of bed. What exactly makes the situation more challenging, or at least provides a different set of challenges than ordinary college? Here are some stories.

After the preliminary two-week quarantine required for all on-campus students, we were allowed to leave campus. On that day, I went to visit my brother who is also a student, living off-campus. A few days after my visit I found out that his roommates had tested positive for Covid. I reported this exposure to the campus health services and because I was feeling sick at the time they told me to be tested and to move into isolation until I received the test results. I packed my bags with two weeks worth of stuff, dragged a duffle bag, and three backpacks down a hill towards the isolation dorms.

I spent three days in the isolation dorm (sans AC) which was unfortunate but due to a fluke. I sat on the couch, stared at the wall, and tried to pay attention over zoom classes. At that point, some of my classes had moved in person. I was the first student in that class who had to attend remotely while everyone was in person, so there were some hiccups, but overall the university had prepared well for this situation.

Once all the moving, testing, and isolating was over, I was allowed to return to my dorm; however, I was still required to quarantine for two weeks after exposure. The guidelines of the quarantine are as follows: attend all classes over zoom, you can leave your dorm only for individual exercise, or to pick up meals at a tent outside the dorms. It wasn’t terrible at first, but after a couple of days of not having a regular routine, it started to mess with my mental stability.

Why did quarantine have such a negative effect on my mental health? Because quarantine works exactly the same as a depression spiral for me. When my mental health declines, I start self-isolating, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't eat well, and I don't want to leave my room. For someone without depression, it would not be shocking for someone in quarantine to have difficulty keeping a daily routine and losing motivation. Because of this, quarantine results in an externally imposed quagmire of negative circumstances for someone like me who struggles with depression.

So what did I do to survive? I was lucky at that point to have made a few new friends who were kind enough to support me even though we had only known each other for a short time. They would visit me by standing under my window (my dorm is on the third floor) and we would yell to each other through the window. That human interaction was so important for my sanity. I even had one friend pick me up a coffee and I hauled it up through the window in a bag tied to shoelaces. Those little moments really kept me going.

I was also able to visit home at the end of my quarantine because I live close to campus. A couple home cooked meals, some good nights rest, some time with my family, and I was feeling much more capable of getting through the semester. Has it been smooth sailing from there? Absolutely not. Some days have been really good, some really bad, and most of them have been in the middle. However I do not yet regret attending college and I think it will continue to push me to grow in uncomfortable but beneficial ways.

I have talked to many friends new and old, and have heard so many different experiences, some similar and some totally opposite to mine about what college life during Covid has been like. In later posts I want to share some of those stories with you to provide support, advice and understanding for anyone struggling to get through the semester.

I would love to hear your story as well! Leave a comment or reach out if you want to share your adventures :)